闲

哈哈!!! SPM 是考完了,但现在的日子算得上是得过且过吗?以前总爱抱怨没时间做自己喜欢做的事情,都怪 SPM 啦!! 现在考完了,还真有中空虚的感觉. 早上如果太早起来,还会不时问问自己那一天应该做什么.看戏? 玩FB? 谈天?? 咳,可真无聊!!! 没得到时就拼命要,得到后就不会珍惜. 这是人的本性啊!! 朋友们都去国外了,我只只好在家看电视消遣.....啊! 假期! 我对你又爱又恨!!

洋葱

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹沉默的让自己像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著今晚多开心
最角落里的我笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现
你会讶异
你是我最压抑最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸
你会流泪只要你能
听到我看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒专属的剧情

夜

哈哈! 又到了晚上!! 特别喜欢晚上吗? 能说是,也能说不是. 不知从几时开始,城市晚上的天空变得过于黑暗,让人感觉孤单的黑暗. 最近,总特别怀念布满着天空的星星.那闪闪发光的美丽,那梦幻的感动......最后一次仰望星空,是去年的11月. 被逼睡在巴士里,当巴士里的灯都熄灭后,那突如其来的黑暗还真让我有一些些的害怕. 我承认,我怕黑. 以前常一个人在家时,当四周都变得宁静,天色渐渐转暗时,我总会躲在自认为安全的角落祈祷.那时候,妈常说,如果连你自己都不能给自己安全感,那么没人能给你安全感. 但,还幼小的我,哪知道去哪里找安全感啊?? 只能说,看着布满星星的天空,至少那种感觉没那么强烈......可是现在,有时候连要找一颗星星都很难!! 然而,我觉得晚上的黑暗有时能带给人们舒服的感觉. 怎么说? 晚上是能让我面对自己的时刻.这时候,心情比较放松,比较不会为自己的感觉附上任何借口. 做什么事情,大多会凭直觉,没那么多顾虑,没那么多担忧....所以,晚上才会想要写写啊!!!

哈哈. 堂姐! 我可没忘了你喔!! 新婚快乐! 真心祝福你们幸福快乐,早生贵子! 当然,明年记得给我红包哦!! =)

一眼瞬间

五年了!! 不过一眨眼,时光无声地与我擦肩而过. 明天就要毕业了,想想,还是有些舍不得.说对学校的一草一木没有感情,是骗人的.走到BLOCK A,就会想起中一在三楼开始中学生涯的种种情景. 走到BLOCK B, 就会想起中二而开始调皮的我.现在中五,从同样的一幢楼望去,一切都不一样了.走到BLOCK D, 才惊觉中三中四都在哪儿度过. 同样的建筑物,不同的人时刻在交集,时刻在分离.

我承认,我是个感性的人,所以最好明天没人会弄我哭,虽然我们依旧会为SPM在学校碰面. 有人说,这世界很小,冤家路窄. 但,我相信有些人,说了再见后就再也见不到. 感谢上苍,让我对中学生涯拥有美好的回忆. 这一切,我定当珍惜.

当山峰没有棱角的时候,当河水不在流,当时间停住,日月不分,当天地万物化为虚有.我还是不能和你分手,不能和你分手,你的温柔是我今生最大的守候.当太阳不在上升的时候,当地球不再转动,当春夏秋冬不再变换,当花草树木全部凋残.我还是不能和你分散,不能和你分散,你的笑容是我今生最大的眷恋.让我们红尘做伴,活得潇潇洒洒,策马奔腾,共享人世繁华,对酒当歌,唱出心中喜悦,轰轰烈烈,把握青春年华.让我们红尘做伴,活得潇潇洒洒,策马奔腾,共享人世繁华,对酒当歌,唱出心中喜悦,轰轰烈烈,把握青春年华.

动力火车的一首歌叫当, 献给全体中五生,祝你们,包括我自己,一路顺风,生活愉快 =)

华文

突然有种虚脱的感觉.回到家看电视节目,眼睛都快闭上了.是的,每次考完华语试卷,头就会觉得重重的,头脑累累的.终于明白为什么有人不喜欢华语了. 因为,华文太抽象.怎说?? 优美的文字,配上无穷的想象力,注入作者本身的情感与经历,结合成一篇文章.放进考卷中,一箩筐的问题接踵而来. 一看,晕眩! 该怎么回答?? 绞尽脑汁,大概领悟了文章的主旨,开始用自身的脑袋想起答案来. 比起英文和马来文,华文试卷的确有它的难处.

可是,我觉得,华文是个非常好玩的语文.上幼稚园时,因为讨厌华文而在课堂上大吵大闹. 崇尚英文, 我总觉得学习华文是多余的.又哭又吵,华文老师也拿我没办法. 妈妈看到我那么固执,心软答应了. 可是,严厉的爸爸对于此事感到很反感,因而逼我学华文.拿着藤鞭,爸爸在我身旁督促我做华文练习. 那时候,感觉仿佛正经历人间地域! 因为幼时吃饭非常慢,吃一顿都得花上一小时,因此老爸的藤鞭时不时将无情地打在我身上. 打破碗碟,挑食,忘记做功课....藤鞭来咯!!

然而,过了十年,我好想对您说声谢谢. 若您当年没有坚持让我学习华文,我将忘记华文才是我的母语. 现在,若您问我喜欢哪一个语文,我一定说是华语. 虽然没像作家们能够非常流利且优美地透过华文叙述对自身与这个世界的感想,但我很庆幸,我喜欢华文.

我能肯定的是,过了中五以后,我仍会继续学习华文,并以华文是我的母语为傲!!

Holiday!

Haha! Went Pho Hoa in Tropicana City Mall to eat beef noodle..yummy! Really satisfying after 2 hours of ballet class. Holiday...boring and interesting. I can sleep more but have to study. Whatever it is...enjoy my holiday before one month's long of exam start..

或许

假期开始了,但心总有一些些不对劲. 发闷? 发慌?

今天,你说这样.明天,又与昨天所说的事情背道而驰. 那时,心里会问: "到底哪一句是真实的?" 请原谅我的忐忑不安,因为我仍寻找着一丝让我存留信念的希望. 或许人潮拥挤,不起眼的我永远不在你视限范围内. 或许,自小就缺乏安全感,对某种没有把握的事情,总迟疑不决. 又或许, 是在自欺欺人.

2020 心愿

好累! 三天的预考终于结束.两周的假期后,依然要冲刺, 而且是一个月的冲刺. 接下来那几个月的苦读, 相信头脑里不少的细胞都会举白旗投降吧! 不管了,喜不喜欢,依然必须读. 看来,今年生日也甭过咯! =(

2020年前,有几个愿望要实现 :
1) 去一趟迪斯尼游乐园玩
2)去国外看一看雪景
3)买一只巨大的泰迪熊
4)到宠物店与小白兔玩上一个小时

我知道这有些荒唐,但这些愿望我都很想一一实现它! 加油咯!

无奈

最近家里总发生很多事...阿姨与婆婆健康亮红灯,婆婆或许早已看开,但仍然处于中年的阿姨就显得难以接受. 当然,我不是当事者,你的痛苦与心里的挣扎,我只能付出关心与慰问,其他的事物我则无能为力. 以前爽朗的笑声,早已听不见了. 现在的你, 被病魔紧紧捉着不放, 你总害怕,一旦病情严重后你无法享受生活.是啊...脆弱的生命有时真让人无奈,但我们又能做什么呢? 然而,就是因为生命有限,真情可贵,人生才会充满遗憾,回忆,憧憬与种种美好的事物.

现在忙着准备考试....多想逃离啊!! 但,我又能怎样呢? 种种的无奈,只能在这里发泄咯....

=)

人生有多少个十年? 最重要珍惜一切,然后快乐向上!!

功成身退

五年了,当了学长总共有五年的光景了. 转眼瞬间,我"毕业"了=) 当年,想要当学长的主要目的是要汲取课本以外的知识,结交更多朋友. 今天当典礼正进行当中,我突然忆起一年前当我荣升为副团长的那一天. 那时,非常意外. 想说平平安安度过这五年就算了,至少能体验到不一样的经验. 谁知道"天不作美",让我的学长生涯掀起一波涟漪. 当下的心情是,我为什么选我,我能胜任吗? 但,还是接受挑战了. 从起初的手忙脚乱,到有一点点自信直到现在毕业, 这一切一切都归功于黄老师的循循善诱与细心教导. 另外,我也想感激我的上司凯杰,不仅教导了我很多,给我机会表现,时常鼓励我,更帮我挡煞! 哈哈,中骂了好多回喔........现在回想与其他学长的合作,从去年的学长营,Majlis Perpisahan, Hari Terbuka, Hari Kokurikulum, Hari Orientasi 到今年的Majlis Pelantikan, 一切都是美好的回忆. 而这些历史,或许不会重演,但将永远留在心中慢慢怀念. 我不知道自己到底有没有尽责,也不知道自己是否在你们心目中是一位值得尊敬的领袖,但我还是要感激你们给我们的配合与美好回忆. 一代接一代...有点难以接受的现实. 你们今天哭得死去活来,差一点也要把我弄哭了啦! 会永远想念你们的...加油咯!!

悟

三四年前,我是一辆一直拼命向前匆,不会浪费任何时间停留在某处的车子. 渐渐地,我长大了. 学会, 放慢脚步,欣赏沿途的风景,聆听朋友悦耳的傻笑声, 看看蔚蓝天空的自然美.

Randomness

YEAH!!! Lakers won Celtics!! Almost got heart attack when i watched the match this morning. Ray Allen,you are good but i support Lakers haha. Kobe Bryant didn't really play well and Gasol lost a lot of marks!! Anyway,Celtics won more times than Lakers in NBA Championships...17 and 16. haiz..Celtics is very strong too..

Argentina won!!! Higuain really got luck...Messi passed the ball to him. He kicked and GOAL!! He got 3 goals!! Anyway,everyone will be tackling Messi so if he's kicking the ball maybe he'll get injured.South Korea would be so sad...love that match!!

Passed my undang test today. Relieved. Didn't want to read that considerably thick book but no choice lo. Xiao Ning passed too! Congrats ya =)

聚散离合

好想去看周杰伦的演唱会!! 他出道差不多都有十年的光景了,但从没机会亲自到现场目睹本人...或许也能说,我没钱啦..

现在已经是6月份了,再过5 个月中五生们,你们可要毕业了! 从此离开中学生涯,永远不再回头. 说实在,当我在写这几个方块字时会不禁怀疑自己头脑是否操作正常. 照常理,只有风烛残年或悲凉凄苦的年迈老人才会时不时唉声叹气,对前方的路作出无止限的联想. 可是,中学生涯一生只有一次,这事实是不可否认的. 犹记得小六毕业时,总爱把朋友的相关资料记录在一本精美的纪念册里,好让以后能保持联系,继续成为好朋友. 然,大多数朋友在各自飞翔后都毫无讯息,以前经常通电话的朋友都音讯全无了.偶然想起时总不禁感慨一番.

在过几个月又得面临这离别的时分. 有点不舍,但却无可奈何.以前曾说的永远,或许到了几十年后还算数; 或许在说声再见的那一秒起早消失得烟消云散.曾听过一句话:"聚散离合,这就是人生." 中学时的忙碌, 几乎将小学一切的美好都掩盖了. 或许不是百分之百,但有些朋友哪怕一辈子都见不到了. 从中学毕业后, 各自的天空将比以前更广阔,更自由,边外面五花八门的社会很容易让人不小心就将珍藏的回忆磨灭.朋友再多,以后再见面时或许会像陌生人一般擦肩而过,但只要有知己,哪怕一位而已,就已经足够.

有一位了解你,会诚心雪中送炭的知己,不就比肤浅虚伪的友谊还来得真实吗?

遗憾

那天晚上,对不起,我来不及救你们.在欢乐过后酣睡的我,就这样迷迷糊糊地让你们从我怀抱中消失得无影无踪. 当天早上看着你们的残骸,我并没有哭. 不知道为什么,欲哭无泪.盯着满地血淋淋的画面,脑袋顿时无法操作正常. 我后悔,没将你们保护好.我后悔,没遵守要守护你们的诺言.我后悔,没将你们与我共度的时光拍成照片,化作永恒. 我后悔,没告诉你们我多么需要你们.我后悔, 没常常在雨天抱着你们,给你们温暖.我后悔,在你们生病时,没给予关怀. 但,后悔还有用吗?

去年,四位亲人悄悄地离我而去.今年,一位从小常给我汽球的叔叔走了. 另一位同学也突然离世了. 我还没告诉你, 你八年前给我的礼物,那虽是再也平凡不过的笔记本,但我至今还留着,偶尔也会拿出来擦擦灰尘. 我还没告诉你, 我喜欢你当我的长辈. 我还没告诉你,我们没有合照. 但一切能从来吗?

近年,总觉得生命特别珍贵. 前一秒,你看到他好好地,开心地地大笑; 下一秒,你可能从此再也看不见他的踪影.为什么生命总是那么脆弱? 有时,真感到无能为力. 所以,唯一能做的就是珍惜 =)

Oh Finally~~~

YES!! Finished exam. Three weeks of drought has ended. People who are taking accounts,ganbatte lo! This week was indeed torturing. Had mock exam on Sun. Come on, Chemistry was on Mon. Anyway, luckily passed with my legs and feet and toes aching for the whole week. Have tried hard enough not to let my big toes suffer,but it still bleed. Haiz,can't even walk properly after exam!! Should have sat on the wheel chair to school this week. XD

To my dearest cousin sister, congratulations!!!! Finally you married someone you love so much. Haha. Let's see. I remembered 5 years ago you telling me that you won't want to marry anyone,now see the outcome. Anyway,bet you loved the wedding dinner,most romantic wedding dinner i have ever seen. Wish you happiness forever!!! To Mr.Bong too, wish you forever happiness with your life partner!

Now, holiday starts. I'm thinking what to do....

劳累一天后看日落的感触

终于松了一口气啊….这三个星期以来的确让我神经紧张. 为什么呢?第一次当主席,第一次自己须为整个文学营负起责任.文学营终于结束了! 我等这一天也算是等了蛮久,因为我不想半夜十二点在睡觉前都会想着文学营还有哪些地方不足! 在这里真的要非常感激所有委员，尤其是为文学营尽心尽力的 MR.BONG，伟恺，子毅，律良，尹蔚，芷珊等等．．．今天的文学营，算是顺利吧！

食物其实挺好吃的，只是我没什么时间品尝．节目．．．大家应该还满意吧！说真的，当我听到营员一起唱歌，一起为某某节目喝彩时，心里会有莫大的满足感．还有人事后赞我歌唱得好听呢！哈哈，很开心喔．．．现在呢，脚好累哦！　有人问我，做主席爽吗？对我来说，有好有坏．坏的是呢你必须管理好一个活动的每一个细节，从开幕到闭幕在脑海里需要非常周详的计划．好的呢，你能看清楚一个人的面目．怎么说呢？患难见真情吧！在我急得不知道自己要做什么时，在我担心怎样在文学营与学业上取得平衡时，在我感觉无助，想要放弃时，那一些伸出手来搀扶我的朋友们，给予我鼓励的朋友们，我铭记于心．至于那些袖手旁观的＂朋友＂，我无言以对．毕竟，我没什么资格要求你协助我．你们的付出，我不会当作理所当然，因为在经历种种事件后，我知道这一切一切还须从＂心＂出发．若没心，说什么也只是徒然．

明年的文学营你们看着办吧！

Lifeless

Haiz...2010. I don't really like this year when it comes to studies. Guess what? After holiday,tugasan harian comes. 4 karangans ar...mati tongkel. Missed 2 outings with friends edi,sooo not fun. Hope to squeeze out some time to shop and watch a movie. How about karaoke again? Haha,no no,too expensive o >.<

To my beloved grandfathers ,hope you all rest in peace. When i was young,i 'm always happy to go back to hometown because you all and grandmas will give me a big hug that made me feel so warm and safe. Now, don't really have the anticipation to go back. The adults are either quarelling about this and that, or they will start asking about my studies and this is really noisy. Haiz. You all have your own reasons,i don't have any right to stop you all. Just,i'm trying to find some more peace in that kampung area. This year passes so fast, i don't really remember any significant stuff that i have done in the past few months.

Feel abit lifeless for the past few days. I realised that i have been more emo this year. Is it real?Maybe, but sometimes i have no reason to become like that. That night, i was thinking of the definition of friendship. Maybe it looks that we have lots of friends but actually most friends won't come along when we really need help. What to do? We only share smiles but not tears. It is really obvious when it comes to getting our results. Trying to find someone that can talk to but always ended up talking to myself in this small bloggie area. Anyway, life is like that.

To my cousin brother that have already proposed successfully to his girlfriend, i want a nice seat during you wedding dinner!! How about in the middle? Haha. Congratulations that you have found your true love in your life. Hope that both of you can lead a happy and loving life. =)

I thought it is Chinese New Year

Finally have some time to update my blog after the first post in 2010. Sorry ya...this year is really quite busy,so less updates =(

Guess what? Exam is one week after Chinese New Year. This is such a great arrangement. When i'm receiving angpaos,i'm thinking about the sejarah that i have not finished studied. Maybe it sounds a little bit too stress here,but that's the fact. Anyway, no fireworks at all this year. Hope to walk along the beach during sunset and watch fireworks at night. Haiz...this dream is so far away. Wait for this year's countdown to 2011 and i can watch the nice fireworks through tv.

Valentine's just overlap with Chinese New Year this year and my cousins were like complaning that they just missed to celebrate this important day with their partners. Hey people! Get married la. So that i can get more angpaos! haha =)

To my brother : If you like that girl,then go ahead lo...i support you!!

Ok,back to the serious topic. SPM this year. I hope my relatives don't mention about SPM this year...but that is totally impossible. Everyone just said that. Haiz. Ganbatte lo..

Another major exam for my ballet this year. Got merit for Interfound. So sad. Sometimes,it is just so hard to grab the few marks from the examiner. If i fail this grade,tata. Have to retake my exam. Pandai pandai jaga diri lo =( However,maybe we are having concert this year. Hmm..around Jun or July. So,more practices and i will be very busy again.

Erm. To the 8 year guy (i think this is the best way to address you), really sorry that i hurt you but i just have to follow my feelings. i'm not as perfect as you thought i am and i'm sure you can find a better and a more suitable girl than me. Be happy.

2010. More smile outside but less smile inside. Trying to keep myself cheered up but sometimes it is just so frustating. Learning to smile under stress. haha. Everyone, ganbatte!

有感，2010年初

又过了一年。原本过年是一件很令人兴奋的事，但可惜今年是2010年。昨夜期盼已久的台北倒数活动也已成为过眼云烟了，但舞台上的表演与台北101所绽放出来的烟花还是非常迷人！坦白地说，昨夜的那场倒数活动最大的卖点不是烟花就是S.H.E,五月天和王力宏而已。 帅！王力宏除了样貌俊俏以外，歌声与乐器演奏的天赋真的让人非常羡慕啊~~ 没辙，谁叫他就是王力宏呢？

2010年，非常不爽。当然，阻止我享受完美的高中生活就是考试！！ 又要考大考了，我的天啊！ 排山倒海般多的功课与压力已经慢慢堆积了。。。又需要过着玩得太疯就会让心里不安的日子。有时候我会想，为什么我要成为书本的奴隶呢？

管它的，反正人总不能每天嘻嘻哈哈的，兵来将挡，水来土淹！要面对的始终要面对，只好冲着它去！ 2010年，加油加油加油！