Time to update my blog. Sorry to abandon you for such a long time. Poor thing. But i need to abandon you in order to study haha. Guess what? Trial is over. OVER! Can you believe it? I can still picture the moments that i have been studying and preparing for trials. Wake up Li Ying. Live in reality ok? I have this problem. I always feel unrealistic. Urgh. Give myself a big slap on my face. Perhaps some cold water splash too? haha :)
Thank you so much. To everyone, for everything. I have passed my interview. Really thank you. Other than this, a big hug maybe? :D I'm really happy at that moment when i got the results from Mdm. Rita. After a few minutes, i thought of the fact that i have to score all As in external exam. My heart sank at that moment. Perhaps other people couldn't understand, how important this interview it is to me. Not my INTEC friends of course, because i believe everyone came to INTEC harbours dreams to fly to their destinated countries at the end of the semester. Wish you all luck too! Everyone must fly! Cheers! :D
What i'm saying is, my friends and my relatives...They always see it as something that is very confirmed, as they keep asking me when i am flying to ireland. I have to explain again and again that everything depends on interview results and final exam results. So, it is not confirmed yet. At the end, they will sure add on a sentence :" you can definitely do it even though you didn't sit for the exam. " I was like ?@?@@ hahahaha! Well, you cannot expect everyone to understand your situation and remember every single details that you have told them, so sometimes when i got fed up, i'll just say don't know?
Exam tells me a lot of things. Not only about my own ability, but also about other people's characters. Common phenomenon during exam period? Study of course~ HAHA! Of course, studying is a necessary measure in order to get good results. However, sometimes i will feel 心寒. Chinese word? Yes, i couldn't find an english word that can correctly describe this feeling. You can see people taking care of only themselves and totally oblivious of their friends. People always say when you work you'll meet selfish people because there are competition among you two. For us students, exam and good grades are so important, especially if you are a sponsored student. Good friends that used to go to school together will start to move in separate ways because they do not want to waste time waiting for each other. They study on their own and do not want to discuss with others because they do not want to get distracted. Conversations among good friends can reduce till sometimes they do not even speak more than ten sentences to each other. People fought for their own bags kept in the store room in the exam hall. Exam is like a war zone. When the war starts, you'll know who is your true friend. Human nature are selfish? Just that they show out exceptionally obvious during these circumstances. Are you willing to take a little time to care for your friend when you are facing the most important event in your life?
Some friends were saying that there's no hard paper for me. That's why they always do not believe when i say that the paper is hard. I thought that statement is very unfair for me even though i didn't speak it out. Do you really understand me to comment on my personality? Different people have different standards that they want to achieve. For you, maybe the definition of 'hard' is that you are unable to get an A, but to me maybe the definition is i am not confident to get 85 or even A*. So when the results came out and i got an A, people will say :" See! So fake. Still say the paper is so hard. Fake la you. Say very hard very hard still get A, i'm worst than you la! I got B only...next time do not want to believe in you edi~" What should i reply then? Should i say "ohhyaaa~ i was just playing around with you because you are so cute. You say hard then i say hard lo~" If i want to achieve an A* but based on my performance i am not confident that i can even get an A, of course i'll say it's hard right? If not i should tell you very confidently that the paper is so easy! Sure can get A! Then? At the end if i get a B, you'll show me the kesian look. What for?
I always work hard to get good results, because i know that's the only way that i can achieve what i want to achieve and do not disappoint other people. But sometimes, i feel really really exhausted. I feel like i do not want to study anymore. I do not want to sit for exams. I do not want to be a study machine. But how? i am not smart, that's why i need to work hard. Very hard. You might see me being able to understand a certain topic very easily, but do you know that i have read through this topic for about 5 times before i can explain it to you? I always want to go home, not only because i want to accompany my parents, but also because i want to be surrounded by caring people. I couldn't find them in INTEC and in akasia. I always remind myself too be independent because when i turn around, i always find no one behind me. Even if there are, it is only temporary. Only he can understand that i'm always not confident of my exam results and are always there for me when i am emotional. He'll always listen to my complaints, even though he got bored of it. He might not be the most handsome guy in this world, but at this moment, he's a good listener and a good friend. Definitely.
Okay Li Ying~~ stop complaining. Just move forward with whatever that you have now. At least, you still have yourself and your parents. Chill and sleep. Good night.
