Empty

The house is sooooo empty now~~ sooo empty. Weekends are always the same. Irish housemates went back, the westernized Hongkee will wake up late and my roommate will disappear. My roommate disappear? HAHA. Yeah. Every weekend, she will go to this one senior house. Never fail. Once i thought won't she feel she is disturbing other people by keep popping out in their house? Then she goes, no lah. They do their own thing and i do my own thing. They don't have to layan me. Then i was thinking inside my mind~ but you are still a guest? For me, maybe just for me, no matter how close i am to a particular senior..i won't go visit them every week. Perhaps they need some housemate moments? Perhaps someday they are just so lazy to portray great hospitality towards a guest or friend? So yeah.

Well. She was saying that they do their own things when she is in their house. Meaning the main purpose of her going there is to be someone she is familar with, with the same religion, same interest and speak the same language. She wants to feel that she is in a proper house and not just an apartment. She wants to feel warm. I fully understand that. The apartment is cold, you know. There is no warmth in this apartment. To me it is not a house at all. I just stay here because i need a place to sleep and do my own things without interruption from the outer world. Sometimes, i just want to do things myself, cook alone eat alone and enjoy the silent moment. But for her it is different. I understand that she needs someone. She is not the type of girl that can be forever alone and stay in the house for ages. She needs some mentor or senior to guide, take care and talk to her. Being alone for 1 week is enough for her. She need to replenish those 'nutrients' at the end of the week. HAHA. So there she goes~ :)

It is good for her. I do not want to see her feeling sad that no one is by her side. Sometimes she say she feel different from the MARA students because they have their own gang and she is the only one from JPA. MARA students they know each other for a long time but she only know them when she reach ireland. I pity her sometimes. She looks strong, but i know she wants to feel being close to someone. Obviously, i cannot be the one no matter how. Religion is so important in her life that she needs her close friend to be able to share everything with her, from religion to life moments to academic issues. I'm sorry for not being able to do so.

Sometimes i do envy her. She has such a wonderful senior that is always willing to be with her when she need them. Perhaps Chinese people are less integrated....seniors do their own thing~ and seniors remain as seniors, it's hard to become friends with the. They are all so serious. Anyway, i hope that she will feel better going there, at least she does not feel empty inside and she is able to use the strength and 'nutrients' that she gained during the weekend to survive another week. Take care my dear roommie, if you need anything, just give me a call :)